Linali's problem
by Saya-Sama
Summary: Linali's got a problem. while she is surrounded by rather attractive guys, she cant tell who's gay and who's straight! luckly....Big Brother Komui is here to help.


Linali had a problem. She had a big problem. Even though she is surrounded by hot smexilisious men, she can't tell if half of them are straight or not. Miranda too, suffers from this lack of insight. But... like all mysteries involving Men, only another man is capable of solving it. In this case, that man is Komui, who can't stand to see his beloved sister confused. He sets out to cure the strange malediction of the mind, even though it means selling out the secrets of his gender. He does not care.

"LINALIIIIIIII!!!! I HAVE FOUND THE ANSWER AT LASSST!!!"

Komui called down the halls, searching for his sister.

"uh... hi brother..."

She said, giving him an awkward smile, must he yell? poor River must be going insane, or deaf at least.

But Linali was excited none the less, finally she would find out about the bishonen around her. She noticed that three very familiar exorcists followed her brother. Allen Walker came first, looking confused. Then Lavi, staring curiously at Komui but still more than glad to be out of the library. Lastly there was Kanda, looking pissed as always.

"These three with be my assistants! they will serve as proof to my claims!!!"

Komui exclaimed, pulling a few paper's out of his coat. He showed the pictures to his younger sister who blushed and gasped. One was a simple picture of her, in a rather extravagant garment of her native country. but that wasn't what caused her reaction. it was the other two photos. Both were altered photos that were incredibly yaoi shots of Allen, with Lavi or Kanda. Kumoi chuckled evilly.

"let the fun begin!!"

he said, spinning around and facing the bewildered exorcists.

"First, I'll show them this picture."

Komui said, showing Linali the picture of herself. she too, stared at her brother perplexed, what did this prove?

He walked up to Allen and handed him the picture. Allen looked up and smiled innocently.

"you look very pretty in this picture Linali, I've never seen you in clothes like these before."

He said, Linali blushed and thanked him for the compliment. he then showed the picture to Lavi. two deranged rabbits shot at one another with oversized pistols, Strike! Lavi drooled over the picture. Finally, Komui showed the picture to Kanda, who took one look at it and glared at Komui. "I swear if you brought me in from training just to show me some family photos...I'll Kill you." Kanda said menacingly.

Komui backed up from him and back to Linali's side.

"you see, Allen's response was perfectly in line with that of any straight Man's. Lavi's too. However Kanda's lack of interest only proves that he is either gay, or asexual."

Komui whispered, if the exorcists(Kanda) heard those words, they would've realized what Kumoi was doing and killed him probably.

"Next I'll show them this!"

Komui said, showing Linali the Allen x Lavi pic.

how are they gonna react to that...

she worried for her brothers well-being. Upon seeing the picture Allen blushed so red that blood would be jealous.

"B-B-B-B-BUT I-I N-NEVER-"

The boy stuttered, he could not finish his sentence and internally freaked out more. This peaked Lavi's curiosity and he waited impatiently for Komui to show him the picture.

"hm...I don't remember this..."

was his response. he put a hand to his chin and thought deeply over the picture.

"hm...i kinda wanna keep that..."

Linali looked at him in shock and Allen did an anime fall while gaping at Lavi.

"Y-YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!?!?"

"I'll give it to you after Lavi!"

Komui said, and moved on to the last exorcist.

aw... I kinda wanted to keep it...

Linali thought sadly. Kanda stared at the picture incredulously. Then he unsheathed Mugen.

"Komui..you die."

Komui hid behind his sister.

"Allen's reaction was that of a homophobs, Lavi's was yaoi fan-girlish, and Kanda is either an absolute homophob or he's absolutely jealous."

Komui said, and he regained his composure and handed the picture to Lavi, before moving back to Allen with the third. Allen's blush got worse, if possible, and he nearly fainted.

"W-W-W-HY AM I IN BOTH OF THESE!?!?! I don't have any idea what's going on with these pictures..."

Allen got anime waterfalls was gloom consumed him. Once again, Lavi was curious as to the contents of the picture. He stared at it aghast.

"WHAT?! no faiiiiiiir this one's better than mine...oh well, I can keep this one too right?"

Lavi said, now grinning at the picture, he couldn't wait for Yuu to see it. The final picture was stuck in Kanda's face. He looked blank for a minute before he ran down the hall. everyone looked down the hall bewildered.

"uh... what was that about..."

Linali asked, confused at why Kanda had not killed her brother. the three quickly followed him down the hall, Komui and Linali to see what happened, Allen because he was worried, and Lavi because Kanda had 'accidently' taken the picture with him.

they peeked around the corner and gasped. Kanda was trying to halt a large nosebleed. he was failing and the blood was running threw his fingers.

"Oh dear god..."

he mumbled. Linali did also. Lavi cracked up with Kumoi, and poor Allen fainted, he suddenly felt overwhelmingly endangered at the Black order's headquarters.

"And that...is how you can tell if a guy is straight or not without directly asking."

Komui said, pointing at Kanda. Kanda heard this and looked up.

"Komui... I'M GONNA RAVAGE YOU!!!!!"

Kanda yelled, pulling out Mugen and chasing the head officer around the castle.


End file.
